You think..

You think I don't fucking miss you? Because I do. I miss you so much that it drives me crazy every single day of my life. How do you expect me to forgive you for this? Huh.. because I don't know how.. I don't know how to get over all the shit you have done to me. You have completely shattered every little piece of love I have felt for you. I just want to love you & you to love me. I want to get past all this bullshit & be together because I know, I know that we can be okay because we have been before.

I just need to see that you are sorry, I need to know that you are sorry, I need to know you love me & I need to know this will all work out.

I can't take the dreams or feeling so fucking using or hopeless. I can't handle feeling so out of control with my life. It's making me so crazy every single day of my life. I've hid these feelings, from myself & from everyone else but all of a sudden they just came out & decided to sneak up on me. I don't want to feel like this about you anymore.. If I can't have you, I want you to go away for the rest of my life.. & I hate that thought but I don't know what else to do. You were such a big part for so long & all of a sudden you're just gone. I don't want you gone, but you are & if it's going to stay like this I want you gone forever & ever.

I don't want to cry about you anymore. I don't want to feel heartbreak anymore. I just want my best friend, my fiance, my love, my baby.