This is by far the worst week, ever.

Why does your heart feel something is right, when in reality it's not right?
Why does it feel good & feel okay & then it really isn't?

this isn't okay.
I mean, I wont hold onto this much longer but it did feel right.


Lately, nothing at all feels right at all.
I just keep messing up.
I want my friends back, I want my jared, I want my jordan, I want my trent.
I want them back & I can't fix this, I can't do this & it's hurting me.
I don't think they will even be able to understand how much it hurts me that they are gone.
The weekends don't feel right unless I'm with them, the nights suck because I can't talk to them.

I just...
I don't know what to do anymore.

My heart hurts again.


Things were finally falling into place as they should & I had to go mess it up.
This wasn't fate, this is my mess that I did. I screwed up so bad & I don't know how I can fix this.

I love how things just go all good & they just get all ruined.
It's not okay.
This is not okay, not at all.

bleh.

I can't believe this is happening to me, once again!

I need help.

I can't do this anymore, I can't.

What do I do?

This isn't okay...

ughhhhhhhh! /:

"Your shoulders are strong, you prove them wrong. "
Sometimes, my shoulders don't seem so strong.

My life is a mess, but it's set to perfectly.
I fell for someone, I fell really hard. 
He kinda meant a lot to me in a very short amount of time.
He kind of made me let go of Casey, he helped me get past it.

But it's not okay, it's NOT okay. He is gone now too.
He doesn't care about me, he never will, he never did.
Why...
why am I so completely stupid?

My heart hurts, it hurts so much.
It needs to stop.
My heart is soo messed up.
Half of it is with someone who isn't even here anymore & the other half is just floating around, just wondering & I don't know where it is, I don't know how to get it back. I don't know what to do.
My heart, has never been so completely damaged.
There was a time...
Everything was perfect. One hunderded & ten percent PERFECT.
Alex<3
Morgan<3
Daniel<3
Myyyyyy best friends, they meant everything too me.
But no! Serenity just has to go mess up...
& find a friend who is a lying p.o.s... then has her meet a wonderful boy who seems so great & then gets me head or heals, heals over head, butterflies, sweeps me off my feets, it was amazing, until he just left... got right up & left.
There goes that, I find out this girl is a liar & telling him things behind my back.
Well, I just lost everything. Right there, Right then.
It wasn't okay.

Recently, I'm trying to just get back on my feet.

Trezlyn.
Halie.
Jared.
The three people that are honestly, keeping me going every single day.
I hope, I HOPE they never leave.

It'd hurt soo bad. I don't think I can handle anyone leaving anymore.

I am trying my hardest to just be happy with what I have right now, because I do have some really great things in my life.

I enjoy things & people who are around me lately.

Yup.


Wow, I always come here when I just want to vent & write.

I like it.
It's nice.